My ACT score reports came today. I was almost exactly correct in my predictions. For English and Reading, my scores were almost perfect. My mathematics score was not as dismal as I thought it would be, but it was still not all that good. My science score was decent (past the 'ready for college' benchmark, yay) but it could have been better if it weren't for the guessing-the-last-four-questions thing. The only section where I did not do as well as I thought I would was the essay. 'Your essay used some specific details, reasons, and examples, but it needed more of them,' quoth the paper. I shall keep that in mind for next time. The nice thing though, is that the composite English/Writing score was still very good due to my excellent English scores. Overall, my composite score is decent, but not as good as I want it to be. With any luck, I shall improve it when I take the test again in December.

There was a section on the back of the paper for Planning Your Education and Career. Before I took the ACT, there was a section (online, when I registered) to respond to questions about my educational and career plans. Apparently, those answers and my test results indicate a preference for working with People and Ideas (the other two options are Data and Things). My indicated college major (and occupation field) is Music Performance, which primarily involves working with People and Ideas. Looks like I am on the right track.

It is cold and rainy outside, so I did not go on my morning walk. I would have, but there was no umbrella handy, I have no rain boots and I really don't want to get sick. I am still coughing from my last cold and it is very tiresome. On a brighter note, we are departing for South Carolina tomorrow to visit family. 'tis always a fun time. On a not so bright note...I have to miss Supernatural tonight! Oh, the agony! It's the last episode before the holiday hiatus, no more new ones until the second week of January, and it's supposed to end in a cliffhanger with two character deaths! And I shall have to wait to download it and probably have to watch it in the car tomorrow. Alack, alack, alack.

What else? The play is, well, the play. Horrible and awesome all at the same time. My job interview at the coffee shop was unnervingly short and the lady seemed somewhat impatient and distracted, although she did note that I had a recommendation letter from Eddie (my old boss at Luigi's) which she said was 'unusual'. I wasn't aware of that particular aspect, but I guess that makes it more impressive? I honestly don't know what to expect. She said she'd be calling people at the end of the week, so we shall see. Oh, Jamie Tworkowski won the 'Good Woodie'! If you don't know what it is, look it up. I'm so happy about this. Now, I must run. The amount of things I need to get done is extraordinary, and I really ought to get to bed earlyish, since Dad wants to be on the road by bleedin' 6 AM.

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Esq. Bane of Shadows

Today was To Write Love On Her Arms Day, a day not officially organized by TWLOHA, but something that was spread by word of mouth (and the internet, naturally) and resulted in over 500,000 people participating (and that's just the ones who RSVP-ed on Facebook). Pretty much, everyone made sure to write 'love' on their arms and spread the word. Hannah, Jolene and I all wrote it and this afternoon we went to the new coffee shop in town, which accomplished two things. Firstly, people could actually see that we were observing TWLOHA Day, and secondly, we could go to the coffee shop, as Hannah and I had not been there yet. Also, Hannah said that three girls in her French class, who didn't know about TWLOHA previously, wrote Love on their arms after she 'splained it to them. What a beautiful thing.

The coffee shop, by the way, is absolutely lovely. It is called Java Joey's, and I forgive it the meh name because the sign has a baby kangaroo on it. Their milkshakes are expensive, but they are amazing. I don't think I've ever had a milkshake so heavenly. It made me want to write poetry. The coffee shop atmosphere is so very, I don't know, coffee shop-ish. A kind of place that is welcoming and makes you want to read and think and watch the people because they are interesting. Also, it is very warm and comfy and after a while I got drowsy (the nice kind) and wanted to take a nap on their couch. They have a couch in addition to various tables and chairs, you see, as well as a child sized table and a little fireplace (the artificial sort, but still good). Also the patio outside only has a couple tables on it and would make a perfect place for dancing.

An addition to the CDs I need - the new Switchfoot album.

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Bane of Shadows

 I have just had a marvelous idea. Last sring/summer (not this past one, but the last one) goddessreason, faeriemaiden, shadowempress, suangelita, and I (and sometimes spockodile) had a writing club called the Quill and Ink Society. Due to various members buggering off, it died. However, now we have this new coffee shop in town which Jolene says is quite marvelous. So, I say that we start a new club. It ought to be a Society for the Appreciation of Literature and Beauty, or something. We can meet to discuss poetry, writing, perhaps bring a particularly lovely photo or curiosity we have discovered, enjoy a treat and have something nice to brighten up our week. Hmm?

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Esq. Bane of Shadows

I think I've discovered that I really don't like high school buildings. Partially, it's the standardized test bit. Different from the average high school day, I am sure. But I don't like sitting in one room for four hours, not talking or hearing music, singing or being creative. I don't like being in a place where everything looks the same, the windows are small and the adults are all conformists. It's soul-stifling. When we were dismissed from the SAT today, I made my way quickly to the doors outside, muttering 'bugger this' to myself. And then, to be outdoors, free to speak as I wished and to skip about on the sidewalk if I wished, what glorious liberty!

Less interestingly, I liked the ACT better than the SAT overall and think that my ACT scores will turn out better.

So I was all ready to record a new song, and then my voice gave out. I have the general structure done and am just waiting for my singing ability to return before recording it. I was going to do an instrumental instead, but it wasn't working out and my hands were very cold. I write better on the actual piano, but people were making noise over here. (I was over in the office, you see)

One thing I discovered while taking the SAT...music is so very freeing. (I mean, not that I didn't know that, but it was a moment where it really struck me) As I took the test, different songs would play in my head and every once in a while I'd notice them. The Gypsy King by Patrick Wolf, Kiss Me Again (best known version done by Frank Sinatra, I think?), and other things that, when I'd realize I was thinking them, were a little glimpse of the worlds the songs open up, a little escape from the tedium of the test and the classroom.

Well, I think I shall go and enjoy Merlin, along with some milk and perhaps some Peanut Mn'Ms. Those were my snack for the SAT by the way (that is one way in which it is superior to the ACT, although five minute breaks do not give one much time for eating), inspired by Dean in 'Wendigo'. Also because I didn't really have much money for anything healthy. Granola is usually gross, you see. I did get real food afterwards though. Reason number five thousand why Sheetz rocks - I got two hotdogs with relish, ketchup, cheese and sauerkraut for less than two dollars. Oh I say, random thought. I need Snow Patrol and Patrick Wolf albums (hard copies!). Especially Patrick Wolf.

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Bane of Shadows

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Esq. Bane of Shadows

November came just on time this year. Sometimes it comes early, before October has said its proper goodbyes, and other times it is late, waiting for weeks after its name has appeared on the calendar until it makes its debut. But October thirty-first was a perfect fall day, the leaves swirling everywhere, the rain of the night and day before having knocked most of them loose. And then I arose on November first to find that nearly all the leaves had fallen and it was cold outside, the still November chill and not the brisk wind of October. November is like February in that it is an odd month, almost a season in and of itself. No longer fall but not quite winter, and the light of sunrise, day and sunset have colors that either aren't there or just aren't noticeable at other times of year. The thing that strikes me most about November though, is the silence. It is not the quiet of snow in winter, but it is so still. Every sound seems isolated, more noticeable, as though there was a constant noise before which has somehow disappeared. November seems like a month which I would find dismal - but I don't. Maybe because winter is only approaching and I haven't had time to tire of it? Or perhaps because I am a November child. But there is an intrigue to November, like it's waiting and watching, somehow.

So yes. The Six Impossible Notes project. If it weren't for Jolene, I probably would never have done it. But somehow, when someone else does something, it becomes a little easier to bridge that particular gap between 'that would be neat' and actually doing it. But I realized that, as I try (and fail) to obtain a job, I might as well try something that might make me a few bucks. After all, even five dollars is the difference between having new socks (or, gasp, underthings) and not having them. And if it didn't work, well, this is what I want to do with my life, isn't it? I sit around and play the piano, I scrawl down lyrics in notebooks, but I never do anything with them because I think, well, I don't have a way to record them well and I don't have people to play other things with me... Turns out, those are silly reasons not to make music, write it, keep it, remember it, turn it into songs that I'll remember. Also, there is nothing like compliments to make me want to write more music, apparently. ::smiles sheepishly:: For anyone who wants more, I have a song idea-ified and somewhat structured. I'll do my best to finish it up and record it tomorrow. I know it sounds a bit pompous, but I know that at least one person has asked after it. Oh, and if you haven't seen it, do please check out six_i_notes.

Geometry and Spanish are both going well. SAT is on Saturday by the way, so pray for that to go smoothly, would you? Now, I think I shall head to bed. Oh, I say. Is it normal, when things seem to be going well, for one to feel a foreboding sense of doom hanging over them? As though it's too good to be true and either one is forgetting something horrible, or something horrible is going to happen soon? Oh, right, that's called Paranoia, isn't it? I don't suppose anyone has advice on how to get rid of the bastard...

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Esq. Bane of Shadows

So, er, yes. A bit nervous about this. But it really is the best course of action. And even if it doesn't work, I might as well, really.

Six Impossible Notes

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Esq. Bane of Shadows 

::snickers quietly to herself::

Er, just so you guys know, that last post was utter silliness. Mostly nonsense, although if you look at it closely you will find that some of it makes perfect sense. I was not torked off about anything nor had anyone done anything to make me angry. Hannah and I were merely up late, anticipating being up later to see Nevermore, and that is the sort of thing which happens when we are tired and silly. Everyone could use a bit more nonsense (the fun kind) in their life. I simply provided you with some. ::looks smug::

Ah yes, Nevermore. There was a show at midnight (last night? this morning?) at the Reitz Theatre, and so Hannah, Jolene and I all dressed up and went to it, meeting up with various friends and sundry there. The show was quite (Eli and Elizabeth were in it, you see, although we probably would have gone even if they weren't). Not all of the actors were stellar, but most of them were good and the man who played Edgar Allan Poe was rather excellent. Also, I put some red in my hair and it actually came out looking red! Not pink or purple, but red! It looks rather nice, but I need more, so due to the fact that I have a $5 gift card to Sally's, I am going to dye it again in the next week. Pictures shall be forthcoming, I suppose, in some manner or other.

I went outside a little bit ago to feel the last of the actual October spark before November begins to invade, and it was satisfying. I wasn't really feeling it so much, but then we watched Nightmare Before Christmas. I love watching that movie around Halloween because it's got all the Halloween-ness, but I begin to feel a little bit of the Christmas magic which will be coming round in a month. The most marvelous thing that happened though, was when I was downstairs making my tea. Dad and Hannah were just going out the door and I was pouring the hot water into my lovely Drink Me mug from Alice's Shop in Oxford. My cat, Zhiva, (she is small, very pretty and smart, black with yellow eyes) was looking slightly offended at the noise they made as they were leaving. I rolled my eyes and said, 'They're mad, aren't they? Of course, we're all mad here.' And the cat winked at me, very knowingly.

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Esq. Bane of Shadows

Hallo. I have taken it upon myself to insult the universe. Or rather, my f-list and any of my other stalkers readers.

You are all filthy, rotten losers and I hope to see you hanged.

You speak too much, you think too little and then vice/versa at the same time. It is a fact commonly known that the uncultured rabble shall blather until they are blue in the face and their malus domestica have grown fallow; thus, you are in possession of no fresh apples. And to have no fresh apples is a very, very horrid thing indeed. Verily, you possess no fresh fruit in any intellectual aspect whatsoever.

I would wager you don't even know.

That is all, sir.

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Esq. Bane of Shadows

I know, I'm bad at following up on things that I post here. For instance, I posted about the pre-ACT worries and stuff, but am I going to tell you how the test went? Of course not! Partially because I've already told most of you, but also because I don't feel like typing about it right now. (if you're interested, feel free to ask. I don't mind telling you how it went or anything.)

What I intend to ramble about tonight is Patrick Wolf. I had a couple of his songs thanks to some offaeriemaiden's lovely mixes and liked them, but I never really got around to seeing what this bloke was all about and if his music was worth listening to more. I'm not sure what prompted me to do so today, but I finally looked up some more of his songs and listened to them. Liking what I heard, I acquired an album. And now, my friends, if you'll pardon the slang, I'm hooked.

The only album I have listened to is The Magic Position, so I cannot judge the entire musical range at this point. I'd rather listen to one album and let it sink in. But anyway.

I like Patrick Wolf because he is quirky and different, first of all. That's a common reason for me to like things, I know. But Patrick Wolf is a little more so than a lot of people who claim to be 'different'. A little more unique, perhaps. I can't really describe the style of music, which is neat. I think that I like things which confuse me. Pretty puzzles that I can piece together in my mind, things that, when I just figure them out, have another hidden facet which I don't understand. Mystery, maybe. Perhaps it has something to do with learning things. There is so much to the world and I love finding things which make me think, consider, feel a little bit more. This music puzzles me in a strange way, and it is good. (this is not to say that like everything to confuse me, of course. I prefer that things like geometry and college applications be straight forward and to the point, thank you very much.) Of course, there's the other, more immediately obvious stuff. Like the fact that he is young but he has this wonderful, almost baritone voice and a marvelous British accent. And he's good looking and dresses eccentrically. Sometimes he looks kind of androgynous or strange, but it's not in the stereotypical way and it's not all the time, so I really don't mind. (not that I would, really. it's only clothes and makeup. it doesn't make you a bad person and it certainly doesn't affect your music!)

I find myself particularly captivated by the song 'Magpie'. It's haunting and beautiful, with guest vocals by a lady with a very old sounding voice that add to the ambience of it. I am equally enthralled by the rest of the album though, I think. I'm pretty sure I'll have listened to it so many times that I will have to acquire another album, because now I think I have fallen in love.

I posted on a status on Facebook that said 'La la la, la la love'. It was a reference to the song 'Lalala Love' by Room Eleven and was random. Someone commented on the status demanding to know if I was in love. I replied saying 'not if I can help it.' Falling love is very troublesome, you see. Or it generally is, as a rule. I needn't elaborate on it when it comes to people. Falling love with a movie or TV show can be troublesome, because then you have to make icons and wallpapers and find spoilers and watch it all the time. Falling in love with a book is not troublesome, and it is my second favorite kind of falling in love. It is taking a little bit of a chance though, because what if the book ends horribly? Falling in love with music, is wonderful. When you fall in love, you have to worry about the other person loving you back. But when you fall in love with music, it's almost as though you love it because it loves you. It's causing you to feel, it's letting you see things and go places you couldn't before, it's giving to the relationship right as it starts. You see? I am being a bit silly here, but not entirely. (by the way. people are not permitted to fall in love with me unless I give them express permission to do so. and that is not silliness.)

Well, I really need to go to bed. Tomorrow maybe I'll tell you about other things. But apparently for me to say that I'm going to write something on this blog is for me to damn it to the hell of It'll Never Happen. So. I am off to a world of dark shadows on the walls of a familiar room, warm blankets and maybe, if I'm not quite sleepy enough, absorbing some music. Goodnight.

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Esq. Bane of Shadows

Points to those who 'get' the subject line.

I'm still pretty sure I'm going to do badly on the math section on the ACT. However, I have more of a general idea of concepts beyond arithmetic/basic algebra and am continuing to learn, which is good. I think I'll do okayish on the SAT, but nothing amazing. So I am thinking that a good tentative plan is to take all the tests as scheduled and then retake the ACT, since I'm fairly confident I'll do better on it than the SAT. Pretty good plan, yes? It's definitely the one I've been happiest with so far. The next ACT date is in December, and I'm pretty sure I can do enough to significantly improve my presumably dismal math scores by then.

Question - If I am planning on taking the ACT twice, should I put both dates on the college application? Once I have done the ACT I am going to work on my application essay and send in the Common Application part, since that should be submitted ASAP. Everything else is not due until January. Also, does anyone have any general thoughts on UPenn or the University of Gettysburg? I am vaguely considering them both for applying, since it seems really dumb to only apply to one college.

So yeah. I am getting up at 5:45 tomorrow morning as I have to be in Clearfield by 7:45. We're allowing plenty of time to get there, and I'm getting up earlier than I really have to so I have plenty of time to shower and be awake so I can bring myself to eat something. The ACT, unlike the SAT, prohibits snacks. So please, pray that I do well. Must go to bed now.

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Esq. Bane Of Shadows

Lemme see. Subjects to cover for today's blog post - geometry, short people and giant killer spiders. Oh, also eyes.

First, the boring. Geometry, of course. I got some books at the library and they are proving useful. Geometry makes more sense when all those stupid words are explained to you. Also 'do-it-yourself' books are much more useful than public school textbooks. They give you answer keys so you actually know if you're getting this or not. The ACT is on Saturday. I have to get up around 6 AM (ugh!) so I can be in Clearfield to take the test by 7:45 AM. It's horrible, you know. Tomorrow I shall print out my admission ticket, go to Walmart and get the required #2 pencils and some snacks for during the test. Dad has a calculator I can bring, so woot.

Now, the interesting. First of all, I am now the front left leg of the giant spider in Babes In Toyland. It's quite massive, as the body is made out of a small tent. Five other people as well as myself will be manning the legs (dressed all in black so we blend in) and one other person gets to be the head and front legs. I don't think there are any mandibles, which is nice. I'm kind of annoyed that I won't be able to sit around and do nothing for this scene, and also I'm going to have to change out of my Bo Peep costume rather quickly. But at least I shall have intermission after the spider scene so I have time to turn from an all-in-black-stagehand to a ballerina. Secondly, I was in the middle of making myself lunch when the phone rang. The elementary school was calling - Xenia had a temperature of 99 degrees, which was not high enough to send her home, but she also looked flushed and was complaining of a headache, so could someone come down and pick her up? Dad was not home, so I left my lunch half-cooked and went down the street to pick her up. There were two other small children in the nurse's office, one scratching his neck and saying his throat itched while the other one said she felt like she had a fever. Both were told to go back to their classes as neither had a temperature, but one first asked Xenia if I was her mother. Gee thanks, kid. Anyway, Xenia was pretty pleased with herself for having weaseled out of the rest of the school day. I was giving her suspicious looks the whole time though, because both yesterday morning and today she claimed to have a headache because she didn't want to go to school. And of course once we got home she was perfectly fine, quite her usual self. 

And now for the eyes. Last Sunday my right eye started hurting horribly and tearing. It kept up on and off all week, so Monday I finally I called my eye doctor, since it seemed that the problem wasn't going to fix itself, as health problems sometimes do. I went in and it turned out that there were all sorts of white spots on my cornea or some such. The doctor seemed pretty concerned and told me to throw out my contacts (I hadn't been wearing them while my eye hurt, but the days it didn't hurt I put them back in) and the case, and prescribed me some eye drops which I had to take every two hours that day and then four times a day after that, and he'd see me on Thursday. So I went back in today. He looked at my eye and asked if that was, in fact, the same one. I confirmed. 'Magic,' he said, which pleased me. Most doctors don't call their medicines magic. He's a decent chap, I suppose. He doesn't annoy me like most doctors do. But anyways, apparently given a couple more days, it would have developed into a corneal ulcer which can horribly damage your vision. It's all better now - I can stop taking the eyedrops and wear contacts again at weekend if I like, although he said that waiting until Monday for the contacts would be better. So I suppose sometimes actually calling your doctor instead of dealing with the problem yourself does come in handy. For eyes, anyway.

That's all for now, I think. I've been listening to Muse a lot lately - I really, really like them. I would say I wish I had checked them out sooner, but then I wouldn't be enjoying them now. Also once again, check out come_all_ye. I mean it.

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Esq. Bane of Shadows

So you know how I sometimes post about music? Well here is some lovely music by a girl with a beautiful voice, and you need to go listen now. If you like what you hear, donate.

New graphics post over at the_wickedend . Eight wallpapers, so be sure to check it out if you are in the market for new desktop imagery. And join the comm if you haven't already.

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Esq. Bane of Shadows

I'm so worried about this whole college thing. (I know, I'm sounding like a broken record.) I'm scared that I'll take the ACT/SATs and end up with mediocre scores, nothing nearly good enough to get into an Ivy League school. It's not that I necessarily want to get into an Ivy League school...but you see, they are the ones with the need-based financial aid. I will be damned if I end up with loads of student debt. The other difficult thing about schools is that I have this hang-up. I think that if I'm going to spend four years (or even two years) of my life in a place, especially when even the 'cheap' ones cost so much, I need to like it. I need to actively want to be there. It needs to be in a somewhat urban area, since I find that I feel happier when there are places I can walk to and people around me. It has to be co-ed. All girls schools are notoriously liberal and I get along with girls better than boys, and I would like some prospects as far as boyfriends/marriage goes. That won't happen if there are no men around now will it? It has to have a good music curriculum, but it also has to have interesting classes otherwise too. I want to learn and think, not just read textbooks and listen to lectures, spitting back the facts on tests and papers. If the school is not a place where I will be happy, if it is not a place where I am going to learn, then there is no point in being there.

Some days...well, all days, but some days more than others, I just want to say forget it for a while and run off.

'And there are days when I would be away.'

Just, I don't know, wander and learn outside of the classroom. But that doesn't give you a degree, doesn't get you high paying jobs or anything like that. Which is why I planned on doing that after I got a degree. But what if I can't do it this year? If it doesn't pan out, I guess the most practical thing would be to CLEP an Associate's and then...do Things, I suppose. But some days I feel like I don't even want to try, I just want to give up before I have the chance to fail, you know? 

In some cases, prestigous degrees and high paying jobs are not necessary. But since I'm not sure precisely what I want from life, I think I should be on the safe side and get the degree. It's definite, in fact. It would be stupid not to do so. I mean, I know sort of what I want to achieve in life. I know the kind of person I want to be, I know some of the things that I want to do, the kind of impact I want to make on the world. Not the world at large, but the world around me. The world I live in. Maybe a better phrase is I know what kind of part I want to play. But I'm not sure how to play it. It's hard to tell. Maybe my fear is finding myself stuck in a place (not simply geographically) where, yeah I'm doing okay, but it's not really where I want to be, but I have no way to get out. 

I know that I think too much. But if I don't think, then I won't know anything. I won't know who I am, I won't know what I think of the world. I won't know what I want. What I want to have, what I want to give. What I love. So I sit here and drink my too rapidly cooling tea, Earl Grey from Harrod's in London, which if I hadn't forgotten it in Maine when I left, I would have none left. So sometimes annoying things do turn out to be for the best.

I am getting better at quelling those annoying thoughts that keep me from trying to sleep. Every night just as I am about to fall asleep they start to poke me with their fiendish fingers, making unpleasant feelings in my stomach (nerves/stress often affects me very physically) and causing me to toss and turn, thinking I shall never sleep in peace. But I am getting better at dismissing them, knowing that they are irrational and it is not worth losing sleep over. So that is something. I am still very nervous about the ACT which is a week from Saturday. I think I'll be okay for the English type stuff and I'm pretty sure I will do decently with writing. I'm worried about math though, so please pray I do alright. Actually, pray I do really well? I need not just good scores, but great scores, amazing scores. Sigh.

Weird things make me happy. House, for a show that can be so depressing, often makes me happy. Perhaps it is the rambling jazz/blues music that plays at the end of some episodes. There can be such peace and real feeling in that music. Or sometimes, like tonight, Supernatural will make me a lot more cheerful than straight up comedy. But that's partially because I've seen these episodes before so some of the misery doesn't hit quite as hard. But then, I'm sure I'm not the only one who finds Winchesters comforting. Not to channel Dean too much, but ganking evil sons of bitches really does a lot for my general mood. Bob Seger makes me happy sometimes. There is something about the style, it can be old time rock and roll, but there's a lot of piano too, and I don't know. Sometimes music is, if the inside of your head (or your heart, soul, mind, or all of it because all those things are what make you), was put into sound waves, what it would sound like. And lately, sometimes, I am that kind of sound.

Sorry that this is so long and rambling. I don't really expect anyone to read it all. I guess part of the length is because I start new paragraphs so often. But I do it properly, denoting changes of subject and such. It's just that my thoughts tend to jump from place to place, so new paragraphs are necessary. I'd use a cut, but using cuts too much annoys me. It won't kill anyone to have to move their finger once or twice more than usual in order to scroll through the post, I suppose.

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Esq. Bane of Shadows

My brain is really stupid sometimes. While I try to sleep, in the middle of the night when I wake up, and in the morning when I have a little longer to sleep without feeling too lazy, it always bombards me with irrational thoughts involving college. Namely failing tests, missing deadlines, not being able to pay, hating it, or the main one, not getting in at all. And all these dreadful thoughts that I've not done anything... I know I have, but of course my brain does not listen to the rational part of me. It's really annoying and depressing and stressful.

I have a bit of a shocker for some of you, by the way. During my last couple days at the Kroger house I was utterly languishing for lack of reading material and I picked up the massive Complete Works of Jane Austen that was sitting on the shelf and sort of began to read Pride & Prejudice. It amounted to naught as I found other things to do, but I think I'm going to go to the library and get it and read it. At this point I'm not seeing myself getting a whole lot of other Jane Austen out, but I do like Pride & Prejudice a bit so I think I'll read it. The style seemed agreeable, but I think too much of the gossip and romance might be slightly tedious.

I am not getting to watch Supernatural tonight because the little kids are watching cartoons. I do not want to go through all the effort of getting them out of the living room (and then keeping everyone else out, as Hannah and Eli are not permitted any spoilers if I can help it, and keeping everyone quiet). Also Dad would probably just either make annoying comments and/or get angry, as he has been curmudgeonly of late. Instead I am going to make cookie dough. Some of it will be converted into cookies, the rest shall be put in the fridge for tomorrow. Yes, I'm aware of the time. But I want cookies, and I am a little maudlin and the cookies will help a little bit maybe.

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Esq. Bane of Shadows

Well, the Life Chain was not as boring/depressing as usual, due to the fact that several teenage boys (not dressed in a particularly respectable manner) walked past, talked to the group of people next to us, acquired signs and then stood across the road for the remainder of the allotted time. They were on the wrong side of the road and did not exactly follow the guidelines for the event (they responded animatedly to the people honking in support, etc) and this made us suspect that they had not been previously aware of the Life Chain or that they had not planned on taking part. Apparently they did not have anything better to do on a Sunday afternoon than randomly protest things... I am kidding around. I thought it was really cool that kids who would probably be looked upon as good for nothing or uncaring would come over, find out what was going on and then decide to take part. It was a very neat thing to see.

I think tomorrow I am going to take my study books down to the college library and study there. It is not as far of a walk as the public library (and lacks the spending temptations of Hockman's, Sheetz, grocery store, etc) so I will spend less time walking and more time studying, which is good. I think I pay attention to school better in a studious atmosphere, even though the campus is tiny and stuff. I'll just saunter in and pretend to be a student. Hopefully no one talks to me. Or if they do they had better be pretty darn awesome. Because I don't like non-awesome people.

Walking briskly with the purpose of exercising is really not all that bad. But generally when I attempt to do something along the lines of regularly exercising I leave off of it pretty quickly. It's the whole missing a day, miss the next day, excuse to justify not doing it, and then I stop altogether. We have a YMCA membership, and I would like to take advantage of that. I want to start swimming regularly, because it's great exercise and I really enjoy it. I can't this week (no really, I can't) but I hope to start next week. Also I need to call Mrs. Thompson about horseback riding. But I do so dislike phones... I need to call various admissions offices with questions about applications. But it's just so scary to talk about Things That Actually Matter with People who I Don't Know, especially over the phone. I want a guidance counselor, really. Someone who does this sort of thing for a living, whose purpose in their work is to help you with your education. Someone who is not invested in your life personally, but who has some answers about this college business. I might ask at the college campus, but I suspect that anything they have there would either be for students or would cost money. They might know where I could go for help, though. Anyways, I must away to bed. Being able to sleep whenever I want is nice, but I really should get up earlier.

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Esq. Bane Of Shadows

Today, after Dad left to do a sick call and then Vespers in Urey, I decided I needed to go to the library as I had just finished Howl's Moving Castle and needed the other Howl books. It is a perfectly marvelous book by the way; do not let the horrible movie deceive you. And yes, the movie is dreadful. If you like animé you might enjoy it, perhaps, but you shouldn't because it is an absolute massacre of the book. Howl is a vain, pompous, amusing and fantastic Welshman, damn it! And Sophie is far cooler in the book. And Calcifer! Poor Calcifer was made into a little, bug-eyed 'cute' flame thingy which was nothing like the real Calcifer. Blegh indeed. But yes. Read the book, I say.

So I walked down to the library and did indeed arrive in time to return my book and get the other two I needed. On my way out I spotted a familiar bag sitting on a table, and after peeking around a few bookshelves I discovered Jolene. 'twas most pleasant. We walked to the grocery store where I absconded with my mother's funds so I could purchase food. We chit-chatted as I located the various groceries (er, chocolate chips and milk for said cookies), waved at Dave and Chris from across the meat section, then went to check out. Mom requested what I heard as 'Coke Zero with lemon'. We found that she was delusional, for there was no Coke Zero with lemon. We purchased the Coke Zero and other things, went to give the drink to Mom, only to find that she had meant to get an actual lemon. With much sighing and overdramatic comments on my part, we got the lemon (and a baguette to go with dinner, so it was actually a beneficial detour), gave it to Mom and left. I parted ways with Jolene and headed home. The walk home was not so enjoyable, as my bag had two notebooks, three books and other sundry bag-things, as well as two packages of chocolate chips and a baguette sticking out of the top. Also the grocery bag with my drink and the gallon of milk. Also on the way back I was somewhat gratified to see that the two blokes holding signs who I had seen while walking down were now gone. It was for a car wash type thing - one guy had a sign advertising the car wash, the other had a sign that said 'Free Hugs'. When he asked if I wanted a hug since they were free, I laughed and told him no thanks, as I did not want to be rude. The other decided to be mildly witty and said 'free, er, shoe wash!' since it was rather obvious I didn't have a car. At least they were young and not horribly obnoxious.

I made cookies, Hannah made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. Church was nice, cookies and a movie afterwards were nice too. Tomorrow could be fun or could be horrible, I am not sure yet. After church (which will be long because the other priest will be here instead of Dad) we have to assemble hoagies apparently and then go down the street to do the Life Chain. The Life Chain is a peaceful anti-abortion protest that the churches in our area do every year, where basically people from the churches hold signs and stand along the main roads of the town (in the shape of a large cross) for an hour. Apparently a few years ago there would be as many as 1200-1500 participants. Last year there were only 250. (that's from all the area churches, not just ours. our church is very small) I don't mind it very much, but hardly anyone from our church ever goes and it's kind of depressing because while some people honk in support as they drive by, there are often people who either flip the bird as they go by or roll down their windows and shriek very rude (and extremely ignorant) comments. I wouldn't mind if people bothered to stop, to walk by and actually try something resembling a civilized debate, but they never do. Meh.

Right. Bedtime now, as I actually have to get up in the morning.

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Esq. Bane of Shadows

Well, I am back in Pennsylvania. I'm unpacked and such, settled back in at home. I went to pick Sophie up from school on Friday with Beeca and Xenia in tow, and that was rather pleasant. I am now officially registered for the ACT (October 24th), SAT (November 7th) and three SAT subject tests (American History, Literature and Biology - December 5th). Anyone with studying recommendations, do speak up.

Hannah and I watched the premiere of House last night so that we would be able to watch the new episode tonight. It was fantastic, and it wasn't horribly depressing at the end! Bravo, David Shore, bravo. I have started Hannah and Eli on Supernatural as well, but I'm afraid we shall not be able to progress as quickly as I would like, since they have to go to bed early because of school, blast it all. And today we must watch the new episode of Merlin! ...oops. I just turned around and almost said 'kitty kitty kitty!' to the bird. Oh yes, Beeca got a bird for her birthday. It is very small as it was only born at the beginning of this month.

I need to begin catching up the laundry at some point. Tomorrow I am going down to Luigi's and seeing about getting my job back. I plan on buying some work pants that actually fit and an actual white shirt from the Tux Shop (they're only $15 or something), but not until I know when I am going to start working again. Mom is taking Hannah and I shopping today I believe. I won't be able to get everything I need, but I want to get a few things to supplement my wardrobe until I start working and have money again. Oh, Babes In Toyland! It's the musical at the Reitz this winter, and all of us kids are cast. I got the part of Bo Peep (she's not the main character, but she is a principal character I think) and I am pleased. The full cast list should be up this afternoon, EDIT - Apparently Lee is playing Tom-Tom. Kindly throw any ideas about romantic implications between Bo Peep and Tom-Tom out the window. Besides, that's not necessarily in this version of the play anyway. Also, I am at a loss as to who shall be playing the two main characters. Hannah, Elizabeth and I all read for the part of Mistress Mary Quite Contrary, but none of us got the part, and I've no idea who else could have got it. Perhaps somebody who did not audition, but the director wanted them from the part? We shall see. The first rehearsal (just a read through) is on Wednesday. Yay for getting a part with lines! Oh, and I think the first musical rehearsal is Thursday (this is moving along quite quickly. perhaps it shan't be a disaster up until show night, what a novel idea!) and that shall be fun. Yay for getting a part with solos. ::grinses:: Oh also apparently I shall be a ballerina in some scenes. It comes from having somewhat blond hair I suppose.

Well, I should go off and get started on that laundry. 

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Esq. Bane Of Shadows