a whisper and a clamour - work sucks, I know

work sucks, I know

Sep. 28th, 2008 at 7:23 PM

Although, it is one of the few things keeping me sane. Of course, if it weren't for the fact that I need that job for a multitude of reasons, I think I'd be gone by now.

I've got a bunch of places I could go, friends that are so amazing, friends that I know would take me in a heartbeat. Friends I would go to in a heartbeat, too.

Every day takes me a step closer to doing it. Just running, leaving all of this behind for I don't know how long. I know I can't and I shouldn't...but I'm no longer promising that I won't.

Most likely I won't. I just can't. Practically speaking, I need the job that I have. I'm not going to get a better one unless it's music related and I need the money so I can do the things I want in the next few years, cuz I'm sure as hell not depending on anyone else. Nothing good can come of that. And otherly speaking...I can't abandon my family. Even if I feel like I'm being abandoned, myself.

Doesn't keep me from wanting to, though. I want to run so bad.

-SXM, Sarah Meholick, Esq.

where I am:Western Pennsylvania
how I feel: empty
what I hear:Hole In My Heart - Black Lab

Comments

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spockodile wrote:

Sep. 29th, 2008 03:09 am (UTC)

Hey, I know this one: All the small things.

Actually, Blink-182 always makes me think of you. I can see that coming across in a bad way, but it's not a bad thing.

---

I'll agree that people are troublesome and not reliable, but I'd say that good things can come of depending on other people, dependign upon the circumstances.

It was good to see you today. Wish I could have stayed longer.

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monkeysinflight wrote:

Sep. 29th, 2008 02:11 pm (UTC)

Please do keep in mind that there are limits, legally and practically, for what and whom you will be allowed responsibility. As we've all seen proven so clearly of late, we cannot force others to behave sensibly no matter how horribly their other choices will effect us or those we love. Unless your parents are both run over by a truck tomorrow, you're not going to be able to protect the little ones from the coming storm. Nothing sucks more. But you still have to have a life and I hope it won't be a depressing, no education, low-wage existence in a dying coal town. I wouldn't blame you if you ran but I'd rather see you plan carefully and rationally with your own future joy and well being in mind.and yeah- you know we'd take you in a heartbeat. You singly or all six of you.

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burningstarsxe wrote:

Sep. 29th, 2008 03:12 pm (UTC)

Yeah, that's pretty much the reason I need this job so much. I need to save money for when I can start my own life - school, anyone? I still want to go to the Musician's Institute (the more I see, the more I like it) and stuff. Basically I'm hightailing it out of here sooner or later - it's just that now, it would be for the sole purpose of my own emotional/mental self preservation, whereas later, it would be something I'd be doing, anyway.

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daefaron wrote:

Sep. 29th, 2008 10:55 pm (UTC)

Alas. Stuff like this is always no fun at all. But I have faith that you'll pull through...

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work sucks, I know

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